#NotInMyName

As one grows, you're bound to become more aware of what goes on in your surroundings, why and how. You begin to make sense of certain things you didn't pay much attention to as a child. There's something that's been bothering me over the past couple of years maturing- the physical abuse against women. As sad as it is to say, I think I'm very fortunate to come from a household where the patriarchy never laid a hand on his wife. (It's sad that I have to say fortunate, like it's some sort of privilege, but that's how society has made me feel now) Or not that I'm aware of, plus he always said he'd murder me if I ever touch a woman. I think that's maybe why I'm so passionate about this, my father just instilled this sense of respect towards women in me. As a child I didn't witness much abuse against women really but I remember one day, so vividly. It was at my Aunty's, late at night, my cousins and I had just retired from the TV room and we were far from sleepy. So we literally just chilled in the room and spoke three to four hours away until drools wet the bed. I then remember being so rudely interrupted from my wonderful sleep by a scream from hell. I heard a racket and my eyes were forced opened. My Aunt was running towards her children's room, screaming for help. Her boyfriend followed, chest naked and shouting, threatening to beat her. My cousins courageously came to their mother's rescue and beat the bastard up. What shocked me about the entire ordeal was that he still slept over that night and demanded to be greeted the next morning, portraying that disgusting sense of entitlement the African patriarchy has adopted. That was the only time I was exposed to some sort of abuse against women, it wasn't that sever but it was abuse nonetheless.

I've since then always wondered what right a man thinks he has to physically abuse a woman. My theory starts with religion: God is so often personified as a man that male automatically becomes God's first servant. I echo Lucifer and Adam. This belief has brewed into cultures, churches and households and it birthed the patriarchal system. This system characterizes the woman as the second being and forces her to bow down to the man. So if the second being disrespects the first being, some sort of punishment must come her way. Apparently a proper swing of the back hand is the fittest way. How this makes sense, I don't know but it happens.

With a few modifications, this system has given men this astonishing sense of power entitlement over women and has resulted in many deaths.

The (current) series of woman abuse across the world is a strong indication of how we have failed as a people. Violence and abuse, on a human level, is an unnecessary and wicked act. However, to deploy this unto a more fragile species is absolutely heinous. Not to shadow the vile actions but the fact that majority of these cases are orchestrated by men is even more sickening. It seems as if our gender roles have become clouded by fighting for gender equality, which I personally believe does not exist. The world's supposed gender reform program has become so institutionalised that it blurs the line between male and female in all aspects. We are so caught up in believing that men and women have equal responsibilities when nature clearly defies that. I was recently exposed to a biblical analogy that emphasised the responsibility of men to protect women. Matthew Henry commented on the Whole Bible by saying, "The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved" In accordance or coincidentally, I stumbled upon a video that further accentuated this notion. It explained that (in most cases) when a man is under attack, his reflexes galvanize a shield position that sees the arm protecting his rib. Man naturally protects his rib-woman was made from his rib-men naturally protect women. How we refuse to accept the simplicity of this baffles and disgusts me. It is not to say that male cannot excel at practicing natural female responsibility and vise versa, we are human after all. However one cannot test nature beyond its limits. It is also not to say that woman abuse is directly linked to gender role confusion but it is something to think about. Somewhere between equity and equality we dived into confused and I believe that it is our human responsibility to establish that line again by having creating dialogues and analysing possible factors contributing to these evil acts. #NotInMyName